Learning About Love

I tried. I really did. My sister had given me "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and reading the back piqued my interest. I wanted to learn what type of language I spoke in my relationships and so when I started reading it today, I figured the timing (less than a week before Valentine's Day) was perfect.

But as soon as I started reading it, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get through it. The author's intentions were good. Through his research and extensive time as a therapist, he had come to the conclusion that there are five different languages, or ways, that people show affection; words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. His first chapter heading was "What happens to love after the wedding?" I was immediately turned off - what if I wasn't married (which I'm not)? Did I not show love the way married people do?

After making an effort to get through the first few chapters, I was disgruntled by the author's generic examples and, as I later texted my sister to tell her I couldn't read the book, the writing just wasn't good. It wasn't engaging and didn't inspire confidence that love was possible. It had a negative vibe - the examples he cited were all about couples who had fallen out of love because the woman asked the man to take out the trash in a "snarling tone." I was expecting a positive primer on how to communicate with your loved ones and was sorely disappointed.

I used to try and read through all books that I started. If I started it, I had to finish it. But those days are long gone and I don't spend wasted time on books that I don't enjoy. I'm sorry Mr. Chapman, but I just couldn't do it.