Here We Go

Taking deep breaths...

Just registered for the 13.1® Los Angeles half marathon. 

Wow.  This is now real.  I have no choice but to train.  I can't back out.

I'm pretty sure the Rocky song will be replayed many times between now and then to pump myself up.

A Helium-Filled Holiday

Source

One of my life goals is to make it to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade live.  Growing up, watching the parade was always one of the things that we squeezed into turkey day, right between the homemade cranberry sauce and chili bread.

I want to see the huge balloons anchored by armies of balloon holders (how does one get that job, by the way?).

I want to bundle up in a jacket and cute scarf.  I want to sip hot chocolate and hold the boy's hand in the street.

The parade always ushers in the real (not fake and overly extended) holiday season; if Santa makes an appearance at the parade, then by gosh, Christmas is on its way.

Warm wishes and big balloon hugs to everyone on this holiday!

Big Confidence Boost

Source

Things have been a little crazy lately...spending time with the boy...visiting friends...dog sitting (walking three dogs at a time can be complicated)...staying out of the rain...learning...getting ready for Thanksgiving...Christmas-gift shopping...

But you know what happened on Sunday?  I went for an 8 mile run and I felt A-to-the-MAZING!  That was the longest run I've done in a really, really long time.  I got caught in a short downpour that made things interesting, but overall, my body was diggin' the run and working smoothly.  My overall time was good and I can't wait to hook my Garmin watch up to the computer to see my splits.

This was a huge confidence boost for me in my hopes to do a half marathon in mid-January.  I think in the next few days I am going to put together a more concrete training schedule so I make sure to build up to 10, 11 or even 12 miles before the race. 

Knowing that all of the major holidays are in between now and the half-marathon is a little daunting.  But when I worry or am unsure, I am going to think back to Sunday's run.  Because there's almost nothing better than knowing you knocked out 8 miles (and felt strong doing it) before most people had their first cup of coffee!

Am I Crazy?

Source

13.1® Los Angeles.

Jan. 15, 2012.

Two months from today.

Do I have time to train?

Will my body let me train?

Am I crazy to train?

I'm excited.

I'm apprehensive.

I'm scared out of my mind.

But after morning run...I'm feeling confident.

A few more days to sleep on it before I register.

It's now or never, right?

I Like You Too Much

I talk a lot about love on this blog.  Love for running.  Love for Austin.  Love for the boy that makes my heart smile.  And it's true.  I believe 100% in the power of love.

What I've found out in the last few weeks, though, is that love doesn't have to be shouted from rooftops or made into large, grand gestures. 

Love is ... reading side by side, knowing that the silence between the two of us is comfortable and warm.  When I think about my future, this is exactly what I see.  I hope to be reading next to this boy for the rest of my life.  We've got a ton of books to get through. 

Love is ... doing laundry together and laughing when one of my shirts ends up in his basket.

Love is ... splitting a dinner instead of ordering two.

Love is ... letting him park in my garage parking spot so he doesn't have to hunt around for an open space on the street.

Love is ... sending interesting articles to one another in the middle of the day because while you are reading said article, your mind immediately thinks of him.

Love is ... thinking about him all day.

Love is ... adding in some yummy toffee to his bag of leftover food for him to take home.  It's a sweet surprise!

Love is ... seeing the pup perk up when he hears the boy's car lock sound.  Yes, Austin knows exactly which beep comes from his favorite wrestling buddy's car.

Love is ... watching my two boys wrestle.

Love is ... saying 'I'm sorry for being a jerk' and then sealing that forgiveness with a kiss.

Love is ... him hi-fiving me when I say I ran three times last week.

Love is ... wanting to spend every waking minute with him and cherishing the ones that you actually do get to spend together.


I know, I know.  It's all super sappy.  But I feel like we are at a point in our relationship where everything is special with him.  I'm still wearing my love-tinted glasses.  To be honest, I hope I never have to take them off.

Thank You

Click for source

Google "pictures of soldiers" and many of the resulting images show soldiers and puppies.  Playing with them.  Feeding them.  Pups in the soldier's fatigue pockets.

I immediately smiled at these pictures.  And I couldn't help but wonder whether my boyfriend had ever found small pleasures like playing with street puppy while he was deployed.  I knew, though, that that Google search was barely scratching the surface of all of the pictures of war.  These were the happy pictures, the ones that we all fall in love with.  We all hope that those photos portray what war is - scary enough to have to carry around a gun, but stable enough to be able to find time to play with puppies.

Google "soldiers crying" and war becomes more real (as real as Googling images from the comfort of a climate-controlled building can be).  That is where the true, raw emotion comes through, the unrestrained sadness and grief.  These are the pictures that scare the living daylights out of me.  Why?  Because I imagine my boyfriend in those situations.  I imagine him seeing the same things that caused the soldiers in the pictures to shed those tears.  I imagine him being vulnerable and shaken, being rocked to his core by something as powerful as death.  And my breath catches.

Click for source

I'm still learning about the military, about what it means to be a Ranger, and how a soldier deals with the tragedy that is guaranteed.  I understand that I will never know everything.  And of course, I will never understand the feelings and thoughts and relationships that form while in war.

But I can be supportive and thankful.  And that extends beyond people who are in relationships with soldiers.  Sometimes, we just have to think of our soldiers & veterans like the puppies in the pictures.  They're scared and sometimes helpless.  What they probably need most is a hug.  And a lot of lovin'.

Click for source

Fast Girls Finish First

Firehiwot Dado of Ethiopia wins the 2011 NYC Marathon

 

I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye.  I could immediately tell she was a runner.  Not just a person who runs to lose weight or to clear her head (although those are always nice perks).  No, she was someone who had speed and had probably run while in college.  She had a purpose to each step and held her body in such a way that seemed comfortable, like she had had that same running form for years.  I watched her as she ran out of my line of sight.  She was fast.

As someone who considers herself a "runner," it's hard not to notice the fast girls that are in my neighborhood.  And to my surprise, there are a few.  There's the one I saw this morning (blonde ponytail, has a small dog she walks in the morning).  There's also a smaller chick with long brown hair who wears it in a braid.  She always runs in the road (which I think is one of the signs to spot a "real" runner).  And then there is a middle-aged woman who wears shortie shorts, but I haven't seen her in a while...maybe she moved.

Yes, I've made some stereotypes here of who a real runner is and the tendencies of such a person.  But these are the girls who get up early to squeeze in their run before the rest of the day happens.  These are the girls who probably eat well and often, but aren't afraid to down a few beers or an ice cream sandwich (like I did this weekend).  They cherish their GPS watch and favorite running bra, but still like to get all fancied up for a night with their special someone.

Sometimes, I consider myself one of them, one of a small group of women who aren't afraid to run in the dark or in the rain (like I did this weekend).  When people casually mention that they run, I have to throw my two cents in and one-up them.  You ran five miles yesterday?  Well, I ran five miles...uphill yesterday.

But sometimes, I am not them.  I lack motivation.  I don't have a set training plan to follow.  I eat one too many cookies even though I know I should stop reaching for them.  Sometimes, I take a week off  for the heck of it because I just don't feel like running. 

When I catch glimpses of these fast runners, I'm jealous.  They always look like they have a purpose to their running, like they know exactly what they are doing and what their mile splits are for each of the five routes they have around town.  I want their resolve to train for something big, for not being afraid to push to the absolute brink of exhaustion, both mentally and physically.  I want their swagger and confidence when they say, "Yeah, I'm a runner" because deep down, they know that running is their gift, their talent that other people just don't have, but something that others crave.

Maybe I'm a fast-girl-in-training.  Maybe I need to focus my mind and create a real training schedule for myself.  Maybe I need to work on my speed so that the next time someone sees me, they think...wow, she's fast.  And I'll feel confident enough to know they are right.

Come Live in My Heart

From InspiredMess

 
While in a meeting, my boss posed the question, what's most important to you and why?  He said it was a hard question and that the answer shouldn't come right away - it was one of those prompts that require brewing (or is it stewing?).

I found this to be a ridiculously easy question and my answer came soon after I started thinking about it.

Love is what is most important, after all.  And don't fall into the trap of thinking that "love" means what happens between two adult people who want to spend their whole lives together.   That's only part of it.  Think of how each of those balloons makes up your heart - there are so many opportunities to show your true love and grow your heart.

Appreciate yourself for all of the things that you as a person can accomplish, can feel and can brave.  Loving yourself and every part of what makes you a unique individual is the foundation for other people loving you.

Taking pleasure in being pushed and challenged means that you will appreciate the outcome when you can raise your hands over your head and say, "I totally and completely conquered that and I loved every second of it."

Revel in simple, quiet moments when the world is spinning right on its axis.  You will love how perfect your life is at that exact second.  And don't ever be ashamed of feeling good about how well your life is progressing. 

Learn how to love each person that you encounter.  You don't have to like each and every part of them, but understand their good qualities.  Everyone has a talent or a gift, you just have to seek it out.  

Give of yourself, for in that sacrifice, you are loving. Period.

Don't be afraid to find a soul mate.  Don't be afraid to open your heart.  Don't be afraid that love will hurt.  Because it will.  But it will also be amazing.  So very amazing...

It's ok to be in love with things.  Like you iPad.  Or your cute shoes.  Or your favorite book.  Just don't show them more lovin' than special people in your life.

Speaking of those peeps - if they are in your life, they deserve all of the love that springs from your heart.  Remind them, tell them, shout at them; whatever it takes, make sure they know how much they mean to you.

Just remember, without love, babies wouldn't be born.  Without love, there wouldn't be BFFs.  Without love, we wouldn't have people dedicating their lives to great causes.  It's a really simple thing to do, once you boil down all of the unnecessary clutter of the fake stuff. 

“Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.”
--Samuel Lover