Coming Back Stronger

It would be cliche to call it one of "those" runs. What I didn't know is that it would be painful. And revolutionary. And one of the most awesome and disappointing runs that I'd ever been on.

Here's how this all happened. On December 23, I went out for an eight-mile run. I had less than a month before my first half marathon. The run was perfection. I was on pace. I was moving like I'd never moved before. The last mile was clocked at just a tad over 7 minutes. I was stoked. That race was mine for the taking.

And then the pain. Top of the foot and unrelenting. A horrible ache that took over my consciousness.

Suffice it to say that the next day, walking was a chore. A painful chore.

It'll get better. I just need a little rest.

I thought those things over and over and over...

A week and a half later, it wasn't better and the rest was making me anxious. I had a half marathon to run in two weeks. Fifteen days to be pain-free and confident enough to run those 13 miles. The confidence was what I was really worried about. Training and endorphins can get you pretty far in a race, but your belief in yourself is what gets you across the finish line (call Hallmark, that's a winner).

So then, like anyone who is grieving, I started to negotiate.

If I don't run between now and the race but stay healthy and positive, I can do this.

I thought those things over and over and over...

I had to pull the plug.  I couldn't run my first half marathon injured. And man, was I injured. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Drained and hurting.

Somehow it was easy to tell people that I wasn't running the race. Injury, especially when people had seen me hobbling around, was a perfect out. I felt a weird sense of relief that I wasn't running the race. The pressure was gone. The worry about whether I was going to run in pain was gone. It as a little scary how ok I was with not running.

And then the real need-endorphins-must-take-charge-of-everything part of me kicked in. I couldn't be sitting around, wallowing in the story that "I was injured and just needed some rest". That wasn't the person I wanted to be. I was better than that injured person that I had become so easily and freely.

I made a doctor's appointment at one of the top sports medicine clinics in the South Bay. I got sweet x-rays of my feet. Unfortunately, nothing showed up on them. No definitive diagnosis other than overuse came from that doctor and a script for physical therapy and anti-inflammatories were the only things I had when I walked out the door.

Turns out, the physical therapy was much better than the pills.

After some poking, prodding, stretching, testing and videotaping, the physical therapist deduced that my upper thighs and groin area were SO tight that they were affecting the way I was walking. Yup, I was told I was walking funny because the tightness was inhibiting my body from performing the way it was naturally supposed to.

It's been about three weeks since that realization. I've been doing my stretching exercises religiously and staying positive about my recovery. These are the small things that are going to change me and get me back on the right track.

I go back today for another physical therapy appointment. I'm hoping this one is the one where he says, "You are ready."

Ready for the pavement.

Ready for the early mornings again.

Ready for the feelings that I had that day in late December.

Minus the pain.

Bring On the Peas

I decided something today.

I have to take care of my body.  That is why I am taking this week off from running and icing my foot as much as possible.  No running.  Hmmmm....

Ok, let's take a step back.  I'm feeling a little twinge on the top of my left foot, which I have felt before.  But this time, it's hurting a little bit more so I don't want to take any risks - I don't want this to become a full-blown stress fracture. 

Also, I should disclose that I'm not one to NOT take care of myself and my body.  When I start feeling a cold coming on, I chug as much Emergen-C and hot tea as I can.  Preventative measures always work better than trying to tackle these types of situations as they happen.  I've been trying to ice and stretch as much as I can to keep my body limber and happy.

This time seems different to me, though.  This time, I'm ok with not running for a week because I know that it is better in the long run for me (get it ... long run ... heh ... heh).  This time, I'm not frustrated with being "injured."  Somewhere along the line, I've come to the realization that running is hard on anyone's body.  It is inevitable that things are going to hurt and time off is usually the best healer.  Time and frozen peas, which are my lifesavers.

Now that I've come to peace with injuries as part of the joy of running, I feel really good about this decision.  Although I have to ignore the pull to get out in the morning, I am trying to relish the warm moments in bed that I have instead.  I'm going to do some elliptical cross-training and weight lifting, but will focus on getting my body feeling better and healthy.   

I know I've made this post all about just one week off from running.  And in the grand scheme of things, it's not a super big deal.  But for me, I want to commemorate this week because it is the first time that I've acknowledged that injuries exist and that I need to be ok with that.  And I am.  So, later, when I start complaining about how injuries are horrible and how I can't stay positive when I can't do the one thing I want to do, remind me to take a look at this post.  Hopefully I'll keep my cool and go grab a bag of frozen peas.

A Helping Paw

Just a quick post ... had to show the world this cutie.

He's trying to help me roll out on the foam roller.  Clearly.

A minute before, he was jumping on me, over me and snuggling under me.  Anytime I'm down on the floor, Austin thinks it's time to play.  Sometimes it is, but this time I just wanted to roll out those sore calves!

Pain, pain, go away

I woke up this morning in pain.  What a horrible way to start the day.

This time, it was my calves.  They were about as tight as a rubber band on the biggest rubber band ball.  I felt a deep, bruising ache that made it hard to want to get out of bed, much less walk the dog.  But as all dog owners know, there are consequences when you don't let them relieve themselves in a timely fashion.

I am guilty of maybe the worst crime in running circles.  Hi, my name is Anica and I don't stretch.  I've just never been a big fan of stretching or taking the time to stretch.  I have these old memories of sitting on itchy, new grass on a track infield while the captains (usually cute, older sprinters) led us through a stretching routine.  It always involved some bouncing (reach those toes, kids!) and counting to 10...boring! Plus, I had a cross country coach who also wasn't a big proponent of stretching.  Sure, we did some at the beginning of practice, but he never spouted wisdom as to why stretching was good for us.

I even did a stint with a physical therapist who showed me the correct way to stretch out my muscles.  And I have to say, even now, some of them feel really, really good.  And I can see the benefits.  But I've never been able to get into the routine of stretching at night before hitting the sack, or getting up five minutes earlier to stretch before running.

And now, I'm paying for it.  Getting old sucks.

So, today I went up to the gym during lunch and did a solid 30 minutes of stretching and lengthening.  I felt better afterwards, but was really craving my Stick and foam roller, both of which I have at home.  While static stretching can help, I really like the way my body feels after rolling out.  The roller can pinpoint tight spots very quickly and can help release that tension, something that's hard to do while reaching for your toes.  I will definitely put both the roller and Stick to work tonight and see if I can get more of the kinks out of my calves, especially.

I think it might be time to splurge on a massage.  I've found that when my body gets too tightly wound, stretching & rolling & self-massaging & icing just don't help.  My body needs a professional's touch.  It might be that time.