Being Left in the Dust

In high school, your friends are everything.  Sneaking out of class isn't fun if you do it by yourself.  Having sleepovers aren't the same if you're just sleeping over with your sister at your own house.  Passing periods are boring if you go straight from you locker to class.  Friends are your lifeblood and you swear up and down (and on every yearbook) that you will always be friends.  How could you ever make new friends and leave these ones behind?  The new friends won't know your history...they won't know you.

Of course, we all know that life happens.  You head to different colleges and while you try your darndest to stay in touch, there are just too many new things to experience at school that your daily calls get cut down to once a week.  Sure, you might see each other at home when you go back for Christmas.  But in spending time together during the holidays, you realize that somehow, even though you promised, something has changed.  It could be you.  It could be her.  In fact, it's probably a combination of both, even though you might think that you are still the same down-to-earth person you were when you left.  Don't kid yourself.  You are nothing like you were when you graduated from high school.

It's interesting how your friends become acquaintances and then how those acquaintances become people who your mom gives you updates on periodically because she sees her mom at the grocery store and politely asks what's new with the family.  Suddenly, you have no idea who that girl is that you were BFFs with.  She's married or still searching for love, but doing so without telling you every tidbit of her life, every secret that she can't tell anyone else.

The sad part?  You still want a remnant of what you used to have.  You seriously try your hardest to maintain a relationship - at the very basic level, a phone call every few months would suffice.  But suddenly, all you remember of her voice is what you hear on her voice mail message when you inevitably get it for the fifth time.  And suddenly, the sixth time doesn't come as easily, and you hesitate when you hear her voice...maybe this time, you won't say hello.

I don't know whether you were the one kicking up the dust or the one choking on it's gritty taste.  But maybe, just maybe, you remember that friend who helped you get dressed for prom or hugged you when you got a bad test score.  And maybe, just maybe, you'll want to pick up your smartphone during lunch and give her a buzz.  Or send her a text.  Or just let her know you're thinking of her.  And you remember what you used to have.  Because that's all she's looking for...some recognition that what you used to have wasn't just in her imagination.